Do Not Wait
by Jaime Castle, HUUC Board President
Do not wait to do the things, to say the things, to try the thing, to go to the place, to take the time, to treat yourself, to rest, to play, to go the distance, to realize a dream, to ask the question, to learn more, to live. Use the nice china plates, wear your fineries, give the heirloom item away before you pass. Drink that good bottle of wine, share it with a friend that you’ve been meaning to reconnect with. See that band that you’ve always wanted to see in person. What are you waiting for?
After a recent very intense scare involving my increasingly physically impaired sister, I cannot help but to look all around to see everyday folks just going about their lives completely unaware about how lucky they are. They have no sense of urgency, of their fragile existence, but they have become complacent in the day-to-day routines that are their lives. I have been made very much aware that tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift.
Due to her affliction with multiple sclerosis, my sister has become paralyzed from her neck down. It has been a gradual progression, and her doctors are not optimistic that she will ever regain control of her muscles again. The mental toll is immense. She can feel pain and discomfort, she can feel everything. She just cannot move.
Whenever I get home after visiting my sister, I get busy cleaning. All of the daily things that are such a chore – the dishes, the laundry, sweeping the floor – I find myself doing with a gratefulness in my heart that I can even do these things. My sister thinks back to all of the places that she has been. How she even achieved, as a hobby, obtaining her pilot’s license. She is an artist and can draw and paint things and people with realistic accuracy. She now, however, cannot hold a pencil or a paintbrush.
I am reminded of the movie I Am Legend, where a virus hits humanity decimating the world, creating a zombie apocalypse. The protagonist awakens one morning to discover that his new guests, survivors whom he encountered only the day before, had cooked him breakfast including bacon. He was irate that they cooked the bacon because he was saving it. His life was being held in such a precarious balance, yet he was saving that bacon. Some of the backstory of his anger was that he was also saving the bacon to enjoy someday with his beloved dog. He previously fed her vegetables, and then she died never having enjoyed the bacon.
If my sister could regain her muscle use for one day, what would she do? I am scared to ask her because I worry that she would get very sad and very angry. She would be sad to not be able to do the things and angry that life is not fair – that she has been dealt this hand. I know what she would relish being able to do again the simple things – like using the restroom, taking a shower or bath by herself. She would enjoy cooking a meal – the shopping for the ingredients, the preparing of it, and even the cleaning of it. She would love being able to dress herself and get all pretty. She would leave her house and go out into the world. She would walk, and run, and dance. She would give her kids big hugs – the kind that holds you just a little tighter a little bit longer.
Do not wait to do the things, to say the things, to try the thing, to go to the place, to take the time, to treat yourself, to rest, to play, to go the distance, to realize a dream, to ask the question, to learn more, to live, to eat the proverbial bacon, to give the important hugs.
Image source: Jaime Castle