It is a joyous time, not only for our youth but for everyone right now, as the fun events coming up are welcome to all! After service on Sunday, December 2nd, in the Heritage sanctuary we decorate our big Christmas tree. It is quite an all-hands-on-deck process, requiring small and tall alike to help with things like pine bough fluffing or ornament hanging. The results are enjoyed by all as our tree helps us welcome in the season.

On Saturday, December 15th from 5 to 9 p.m., all are invited to celebrate the season at the Heritage Holiday Party. It will be a potluck dinner and there will be crafts and singing.

Also this month, the RE Sabbatical Team, led by Steph Tacy, will be presenting once again the Pop-Up Christmas Pageant. During service on Sunday, December 23rd, come be a part of the Christmas miracle retold, or just come and enjoy being a witness to the pageantry and music. It’s a fun time for all ages!

Happy Holidays from your RE Sabbatical Team!

Jaime Castle
Feriel Feldman
Ellie Lamb
Robert Lamb
Ann Roberts
Steph Tacy

December 2018

by Jaime Castle

So many memories flash and dance across my mind when thinking of past Christmases and Decembers: my mother’s homemade sugar cookies and the Sears Wish Book, lavishing silver tinsel around the tree and waking up my older siblings at the first sign of light on Christmas morning. But I would have to say the one Christmastime memory that “takes the yule cake” as far as being in the forefront of my mind, would be the year that I was almost smashed to death in the sake of love!

To be quite honest, it was not really love’s fault at all. It would actually have been pride’s fault or maybe a case of one-upmanship? Regardless of the almost cause of my almost death, it can be stated with complete certainty that it was hunger that saved my life that Christmas Eve in 2003.

I was 26 years old and I had just left teaching that spring before and was trying on being a Realtor. While I worked to grow my business, I was back at waiting tables at the swanky sushi restaurant in Hyde Park. The holidays bring in good money for tipped workers but the shifts can be brutal. Sure enough, I was scheduled to work Christmas Eve. I was in a predicament however in that I still needed to buy a gift for my boyfriend. And this was a big deal because that boyfriend was about to become my fiancé

This guy (we’ll call him Ben) and I had talked about marriage casually before. He would joke that it really wasn’t fair that “the girl” got a nice shiny ring whereas “the guy” didn’t get anything when proposals happen. Ben would continue this line of reasoning and persuasion and leave me hints in the form of gifts that he wanted circled in catalogs. I wasn’t sure if I should take him seriously though until one day when he was not home, I answered the phone to receive a message from a jewelry shop that “the ring was ready!”

So, I knew, but he did not know I knew and now I needed something fast to give him because I wanted to be the one delivering the big surprise! And you bet, it was definitely going to be big! One of the items that he had hinted at was a ridiculously big rear-projection television. He probably was kidding on this one as it was big and not cheap. But – I had been working a lot that December and I had funds!

Now I don’t know if you have gone shopping the day before Christmas before – at an electronics store – but it can downright chaotic! But off I went to the Tri-County shopping mecca and I was very confident because I was driving my new big SUV (perfect for a successful Realtor to be – and perfect to fit in a big TV). When I got to the store I was in luck, not one, but two former students of mine came bouncing right on over to help me right away (which was super great because remember, I am trying to do this before my work shift started). Ben had circled a 42” screen sized one of these monsters. But oh no! I was going to show him! I pointed to the 47” one and said “I’ll take that one!”

Here is where things started to go wrong. I pulled up my SUV but then realized that I had not taken into consideration the size of the box that this great beast came in. The former students looked very worried and apologetic. However, lucky again, I had a connection to a pick-up truck! So, I called up Ben’s dad (my future father-in-law – although he didn’t know it yet!) and asked him to bring up the truck right quick. He, excited to now be privy to my great scheme and the impeding engagement, did just that.

When he got to the store, the workers helped to load up the box. This box was taller than myself and who knows how much it weighed? Ben was going to freak out for sure. A lady sitting on a bench nearby on her break was watching us with a sideways glance. “You best tie it down,” she said. My future father-in-law grinned dismissively. The box was serious so big and heavy and was going nowhere. The plan was that I would follow the truck back to his house and help him unload it and we would store the TV in his garage where it would be all ready as a Christmas surprise come morning when we would go over there for breakfast.

It was a good plan, but I was running out of time before having to go to work and was getting hungry. So instead of following him close behind, I took a detour to a nearby Wendy’s. I ate my late lunch in the car on the way to Ben’s parents’ house in Mount Lookout but was surprised to not find my future father-in-law there with his truck and Ben’s giant TV. I went inside to ask his mother where Bill (Ben’s dad) was and was immediately struck by the worried look on her face.

She sat me down and proceeded to tell me that Bill had to go back to the electronics store to get a new TV.

Bill would tell me later about how while driving south on I-75, he felt a shaking in the truck bed and then, like magic, the whole box just rose right up. It rose right up and flew up into the air only to come right back down with a great smash. The great box still being mighty then rolled top over bottom again and again until it ended with another great smash into the medium where it lay there a heap of cardboard and glass, and whatever else a giant 47” rear-projection TV is made with.

There are many lessons here folks! Be careful what you wish for?! Don’t give the jewelry store your landline phone number?! Keep your pride in check?! Don’t wait until the last minute to shop?! Maybe most importantly though: listen to wise ladies sitting on benches when they tell you to tie it down?!

I am so very thankful that I did not follow his truck that day. It was super fortunate that no one was directly behind him when the TV smashed. Bill and I were very shaken up that day and my mood was still sour when later, after work, Ben brought out a little box. “I don’t want this to be a cliché, done on Christmas thing. So here. Will you?”

Now I knew that Ben was not going to go down in history as one of the great romantics of our time, but it was good enough. He picked out the ring and I love it and the rest is history.

Happy Holidays my Heritage Folks! Enjoy the magic of the season, but make sure to take extra care too!

Jaime Castle

December 2018

by Rev. Bill Gupton

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year…”

So goes a popular Christmas song, now more than half a century old, which cites the joy of this season. Most of the time, I can agree with the sentiment. Opening our home to loved ones from our church community, bright lights on cold winter nights, the simple beauty of a Christmas Eve service in our sanctuary – all these things are truly joys in my life. But this Christmas will be very different in our home. Patrick will be in New Zealand, where it is the middle of summer. This marks only the second Christmas we have ever been apart (the other was when he was in India; what a traveler!)

It is true for many people, each year: This can be a very difficult season to navigate. Some memories are painful. Losses abound, and can seem more prominent, than at other times. Disappointments can run deep. It can be very hard, being reminded of those who are not with us, or of those things that did not come to pass. There are those who carry a lot of pain with them this time of year.

Thus it is important to be gentle with one another. To not make assumptions, whether about a person’s mood, or what holiday they celebrate (or don’t). So if you wish someone “Happy Holidays” or “Merry Christmas” (and please, don’t let yourself get drawn into the manufactured controversy over such greetings), do so with sincerity and compassion. Do so as a simple, loving reminder that you see that person, even at this time of year when it is hard to see clearly, in spite of (or perhaps because of) all the many lights.

One antidote to seasonal sadness that I have found is being with others – others who are genuinely interested in how you are doing and what you are feeling. Heritage Church is such a community – and this month, we offer many opportunities to connect with others and feel the loving spirit of this church.

Stop in for worship on the first Sunday of December (December 2nd), and stick around afterward as we decorate our sanctuary Christmas tree – a tradition that includes people of all ages, who come with or without children, with or without partners. Women are invited to the annual Clara Barton Guild Holiday Dinner (December 5th) at church. All are invited to the Holiday Open House that Jennifer and I offer each year at our home in Anderson Township (December 9th, after church). Again, everyone is invited to the HUUC Holiday Party on Saturday evening, December 15th. Then there’s the Heritage Winter Solstice Celebration on Friday evening, December 21st – the longest night of the year. There’s the Sunday morning that our children perform their “Pop-Up Christmas Pageant” (December 23rd). And finally, of course, our Christmas Eve candlelight service on Monday evening, December 24th at 7 o’clock.

As I have said before, at this time of year, while the days grow shorter, and sunlight wanes, be sure that you get an adequate dose of “Vitamin C” (community!) I hope to see you at church many times this month, and to offer you a warm hug. Blessings and light to you all.

Namaste,
Rev. Bill

December 2018.

Fall and winter holidays are fast approaching! Every year around Thanksgiving, the children of our Religious Education program get together during service and have a Pajama Party! In past years, we popped popcorn, watched movies, did our nails, and played games. This year, our party will be on November 25th and if you have fun ideas to add to our party or want to help with the kids that day, let us know! You can contact Jaimecastle@me.com.

Save the Dates:
On December 15th, Saturday 5-9pm, Heritage is planning a Holiday Party for all ages co-hosted by RE and the Music Committees. There will be a potluck dinner, crafts, and holiday music karaoke!

December 23rd, during service, we will be planning on having our annual Pop-Up Christmas Pageant. Steph Tacy is the point person for that fun event if you have questions or would like to help!

We have already passed the halfway point for Rev. Leslie’s sabbatical and time continues to fly by. We have said it before, but we are so thankful to the many who have stepped up to help by teaching, subbing in to teach, or by being our roving guardians during class time. The junior high and high school youth have been very active – especially for our recent pot luck lunch after church where they learned some culinary skills and set up the tables and chairs. Thank you to Miranda Fash and Garry Wilson for coordinating that and for being such great mentors!

That’s all for now!

The RE Sabbatical Team:
Jaime Castle
Feriel Feldman
Ellie Lamb
Robert Lamb
Ann Roberts
Steph Tacy

November 2018

by Jaime Castle

Finnegan, my eight-year-old son, went on a trip this past weekend to West Virginia with his father and grandfather and the menfolk of two other families. They go every year to a schoolhouse converted into a cabin in a narrow mountain valley called Shook Holler. It is very rustic there and remote. I’m told that the stars there are much brighter and when you climb to the tops of the mountains, the views take your breath away.

When they go, my heart goes on high alert and all the things to worry about jump around in my brain. The menfolk roll their eyes at me and my fussing so I just throw out warnings as they go that if any harm should come to my boy…you can imagine the rest! And so, I wait four days to hear how their trip went. They emerge back on “the grid” after descending about an hour away from “camp.” Sometimes they can get a phone signal from the top of one of the mountains. They do not stay there long so sometimes I do not talk to them. My mother-in-law did touch base with them and sent me a text saying: “All is ok. Finn was stung by a bee but ok.” I was kicking myself for not making sure that they had bee sting wipes in their kit, but felt a little at ease that all was fine. When they came home, the report of their stay to me was mundane – everything went fine. When they came home, however, Finnegan gave me a different report.

Away from the rest of the family he started at a whisper “Mom, I don’t ever want to go back there!” Tears were threatening to rise. I asked him to tell me what happened. The last time that he went he cut his hand and proudly showed me his bandage but this time there were no physical signs of harm. He then proceeded to tell me about how he had been “dead scared.”

He and two other boys (ages 13 and 9), decided to venture out on their own. Armed with a machete, they told the men that they were going on a hike to a place that they call the bear cave. Don’t worry – no bears emerge in this tale nor have they ever seen one there. Along the way there is an old abandoned house they want to explore – it is mostly just log walls left – so do not worry about floors or the roof caving in! I am imagining what could have scared him so as he is telling me where they were headed though.

Finn and the boys went down a dirt road and then climbed up into the woods. After a while he says that he felt uncomfortable with the distance that they had traveled. He told the boys that he was going to head back, but they did not want to return. So, Finnegan turned around and headed toward the road alone. He followed the road thinking he knew the way but then, unexpectedly the road ended. Looking around he decided to go into the woods and find his way. It was not long though that he realized he was lost. Very lost and very alone. He continued through the steep woods with tears flowing and breathing hard. He stumbled on a rock and fell hard into the mud. Covered in mud, he just kept going at one point finding himself in a field of grass taller than himself, running full speed. He found a little house that he thought that he knew. There is a local man who goes by “Golden” and Finn thought that he lived there so he went to knock on the door and ask for help. No one was there. Finn saw another dirt road and climbed over a fence to get to it.

It is hard for me to guess how long this miserable journey lasted him, but to a boy alone in a mountainous wood, it must have seemed endless. But following that little dirt road, he did find camp and muddy and tear soaked, he walked up to the men. They removed his muddied pants only to give him a clean pair which housed a hidden bee – thus the sting – adding insult to injury.

I told Finn that if he does decide to go again, that he should carry a whistle to blow if he should ever be lost. That was just the beginning of “changes” to suggest if he goes on this trip again.

I tell you this story as it relates to something that was alluded to once in service years back. It was about the Three Essential Prayers as explained by Anne Lamott: Help, Thanks, and Wow. The idea being that those three things can be the most important things that we can say. Each on their own can illicit great examples of how life changing each word can be. But for now, let’s focus on Help.

For a little boy lost in the woods, it would not be a hard thing to say if there was someone to say it to. But something happens when we grow up where it gets harder to ask for help. Maybe there is a shame in it or embarrassment or maybe the help we need is something little – too little that we do not think it worthy to mention. Or maybe the help we need we see as too big – something we do not want to burden others with.

But it is ok and important to ask for help – big or small – for whatever reason needed. You are not lost in the woods but you are here with friends and your church family. Reach out for help when you need it – there are many people that can help you! Have radical trust in that people will help you when you ask. You have a voice that can be heard, you have a whistle.

I am going to gift you this proverbial whistle. Imagine it shinning in a golden cast – small and sleek. It is affixed to a necklace of soft silky satin cord which is black but if you hold it to the light, it looks a little blue. Put the lanyard cord around your neck and then take a couple of practice breaths on it. What does it sound like when you put your energy to it? What is it communicating to others? Get used to that sound and fortify yourself with the knowledge that your whistle is there and its sound is true. It will always be there when you need it. It will bring you help. When you are lost or so helpless and you cannot see the light, blow child! Blow!

---

Finnegan describes getting lost.

 

November 2018

by Rev. Bill Gupton

As we enter the month of thanksgiving, here are some things I am grateful for:

 

• My family (Patrick, who is on his way to New Zealand now, and Jennifer, who has been my beloved partner now for 25 years)
• This church and the incredible love of this community
• A warm, insulated house as the weather grows colder
• Many of the amenities of Anderson Township (in particular, the Five Mile Trail)
• The ability to walk in the fresh air (see above)
• A faith in all-conquering love
• The unconditional love I received from my parents
• The colors of the fall leaves, and the ability to see them
• Clean, running water
• Music
• The right to vote
• Health insurance (millions of Americans don’t have it)
• So many, many friends who have my back, when I am feeling down

The list, of course, could go on for pages and pages. I’m curious: What’s on your list?

Wishing you deep peace and much love at the beginning of the holiday season,
Rev. Bill

by Rev. Bill Gupton

I continue to be amazed by the power and depth of this community we call Heritage Church. As most of you know, we currently have several members who are dealing with significant life-threatening and terminal medical diagnoses – and our church family has consistently rallied around those families in wonderful, remarkable ways. There is a quote I used recently in a sermon:

“Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and the awful, it is ordinary and mundane and routine. So, breathe in the amazing. Hold on to the awful. Relax, and exhale the ordinary. That is how we live – by leaning and breathing into this heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. That is how we make it breathtakingly beautiful.”

That quote captures the full range of our human existence. It reminds us how to embrace the full spectrum of our experiences as one beautiful whole – one interwoven quilt that, as the poet Blake tells us, is made more beautiful by “joy and woe, woven fine.” And it sums up, for me, not only the way of the world, but also the way life is these days in this community we are blessed to share at Heritage.

Hug those around you, my friends. If there is no one around to hug, come to church on Sunday – where hugs are both free, and plentiful. Look long and lovingly at the sunset. Or the stars. Or a child. A flower. A puppy. A spider’s web. “Memento Mori” – remember that you will die. And choose, in this breathtakingly beautiful moment that you do live, to breath deeply, love deeply, live deeply. Then share what you find in that moment, with others.

Blessed be. See you at church!

Namaste,
Rev. Bill

October, 2018.

by Jaime Castle

My mother is from Bay Ridge Brooklyn, New York. Growing up in the little suburban Village of Greenhills, this stood out to my friends. Having heard her special way of twaalking all my life, it was quite normal to me. I didn’t think about it and thought that all moms spoke that way. But as I got older and new friends would come to play, they undoubtedly would bring it up.

It was a joke in my family to tease her by imitating her and I think she got a kick out of it. “Don’t twaalk to your maawdda until she’s had her cawaofffee!” There was a lot of laughter in my house growing up. There were five kids: my half-siblings were more than a decade older and I was the second last but had a middle-child-like upbringing. We were pretty free range; our front door was never locked and we often took off on our bikes or ventured out to the nearby woods and creek always coming home in time for supper.

We lived in the same house my whole childhood, no one close to me had died. My dad had a steady job with the city and my mom stayed home only taking part time work when we were older. We were good kids, following all the rules. There was zero drama at all. My mother doted on us – especially my little brother! I thought grown-ups to be infallible beings free from childish and adolescent insecurities and full of wisdom.

This simple carefree upbringing I quickly resented, however, when I arrived to college and found myself in my English Composition class at a loss about what to write about. College was a huge culture shock to me as I met so many different people and was all on my own. The people I met came from all sorts of backgrounds and many had been through so much. They all seemed SO MUCH more interesting than myself. They say to write about what you know, but what did I know about anything? I was really mad that my childhood and life was so boring.

Looking back now, I wish that my childhood really was boring, because you see, there was a lot that I didn’t know about at the time. My mother was holding onto a lot of pain that she kept hidden. She wanted her children to have a better life and childhood than she had and that started the second she agreed to marry a man that she met in the US Virgin Islands when she was a struggling widow with two toddlers in tow. She saw in him stability and safety and that was good enough.

I was ignorant to my mother’s past until I took her out on her Birthday the year I was 22. It’s startling what a bottle of Chardonnay can unleash! Sometime during that meal and after a glass or two of wine, my mother decided to unload on me stories that seemed straight out of a novel or movie. I listened and took it all in like I was watching scenes that were too strange in that they could not have happened to someone I had known all of my life. How could it all be true and none of us kids were clued in on it?

I had never met anyone from her family, although I had heard her talk about a brother back in New York and an elderly aunt in Texas. Both of her parents had died before I was born, as did her grandparents who raised her. I knew her dad was from Scotland, but that was all I knew of him. My father’s family was very active in our lives, though, so it never occurred to wonder about her family. But she sat there talking to me almost like in a trance.

She did not have a happy childhood. She felt like an unwanted burden and was verbally and sometimes physically abused. She grew up along with her two brothers with her very tough maternal grandparents and her mother in a brownstone house. Her mother was stricken young with MS and was more like a sister to her. She was quiet though and did not or could not show affection. She remembers having to push her around in a makeshift wheelchair that was made from a folding chair on a little platform with wheels. She resented her at the time and would purposely knock her into things. She felt deep regret about that later. Her father was an alcoholic and was abusive, having spent time in jail for throwing her mother down the stairs, causing a miscarriage. My mother said that after she was born, her father tried to steal her from the hospital wrapped up in a newspaper. He didn’t get out of the hospital with her though. That occurrence intrigued her deeply as she didn’t know her father on a personal level and she wondered what would have happened to her.

There is a whole lot more to her story, including her not-so-nice first husband, but it is not for me to tell now. Let’s fast forward to me at age 22 with my mother sitting across from me. She was struggling with anxiety and past traumas and I didn’t know what to say or how to react. My whole life up until that moment was only a façade. But she had created that life for me so that I would not have the traumas that she had. I felt really guilty about my previous wish and resentment. I learned a hard lesson that a boring life that is pain free can be a beautiful thing!

There is a second lesson in this: that everyone has a story. Sometimes the story that a person has is nowhere near what your imaginings are. We must be reverent to the stories and see in each person a mystery that we cannot know. Treating all with a delicate kindness that acknowledges that we do not know where they have been or what they have been through, and appreciating the boring times in our lives, are both some of the significant ways that we can all navigate this life journey together.

I appreciate and revere you all!

Jaime Castle

October 2018

The fall Religious Education session is underway and the leaders of the Sabbatical Team have stepped up to fill in where teachers are needed. Many hands make light work, but it can still feel like a heavy task at times. The children are engaged and are a joy and that is why we give of our time and energies, but we couldn’t do it without our teacher volunteers and our Rover Team of guardian angels. The Rover Team act as the RE security people and point people each Sunday, serving as they check in on the teachers and keep us aware of the service timing. If your child is in RE and you would like to know more about the curriculum, check out the Child and Youth section under the Educational section on our website for specific details. www.huuc.net/category/child-and-youth-classes/

If you have a child that is RE age but does not attend RE, let us know why. WE are always looking for ways to engage more youth. And we can always use more folks to be on our substitute teacher list, let us know if you can serve in that capacity!

Your Sabbatical Task Force Team:
Ann Roberts (preschool)
Steph Tacy (K/1)
Jaime Castle (2/3)
Ellie Lamb (4/5)
Robert Lamb (junior youth)
Feriel Feldman (high school youth)

 

October, 2018.